Friday, January 22, 2010

Review: Nine Months (1995)

Director: Chris Columbus
Starring: Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Tom Arnold, Robin Williams

Hey kids, ready to learn to cook? Today we're going to be making a shitty romantic comedy!

*cheering sounds*

You'll need your chef hats, your bowls and your barf bags for this exercise. Do you have them ready?

Yes, we do!

Okay, then! Take your basic romance set up with a geeky, wimpy guy and his strong but blandish wife. Add in the complication of pregnancy and the fact that our prissy hero is not ready for it - can you smell the awkwardness yet? Add in obnoxious acting and horrible, horrible performances by otherwise good actors like Robin Williams and Tom Arnold. Add in some of the most unfunny, uncomfortable and unenjoyable comedy ever laid down, and you have the recipe for disaster that is Nine Months.

God, this sucks. So, what have we learned today, kids?

That Hugh Grant should never be let within fifty feet of a romance movie involving pregnancy!

That's right, kids. And just in case you might be enticed to see Hugh Grant's latest romantic flop Did You Hear About the Morgans?...well, just take your recipes home and study them for next time, when we'll have a test.