Trailer Review: Battleship (2012)

Greetings, readers! Welcome to a new section of the blog called trailer reviews. Where I review trailers. Wasn't that a fun explanation?

And yes, that IS Rihanna in the front there!

Ahem. Yes. Today's trailer is of a new movie coming out next summer called Battleship. Yes, Battleship, based on the hit board game from the 1950s. I'm not even joking - that's really what it's about. The film industry is SO BANKRUPT FOR IDEAS that they're now making movies out of board games...why am I not more surprised? Oh yeah, because there's a Rock'em Sock'em Robots movie coming out this fall, too.

Prime movie material, guys. Prime movie material.

So yeah, here's the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NNQqHsIc-4

It starts off with some steamy music and a nighttime beach scene of a guy and a girl sharing some intimate moments together. He says he's going to go straight to her father and tell him that he wants to marry her. Then we see that isn't a good idea because her father is Liam Neeson, who simply can't see what his daughter sees in the guy. And as we all know, Liam Neeson is the ultimate protector of daughters, so he can consider his attempt shot down. We then see some heavy-fire battle scenes and even a big monster rising up out of the ocean...and DUN DUN DUN, SUMMER 2012, BATTLESHIP IS COMING TO THEATERS!

Seriously, what was this trailer going for? First we get the romanctic beginning and the scenes with the kid and Neeson, and it looks like it might be some kind of drama, then it's like BAM, out of nowhere, the film is now a big monster/robot movie with action scenes and CGI and everything, with no segueway or lead-in at all. It's totally jarring, and doesn't set the movie up as anything to be taken too seriously. But then again, I really doubt it was supposed to be, anyway. Still though, it really doesn't do much for the movie's credibility at any rate. Just because those early romance scenes are in the movie doesn't mean you devote half of the trailer to them! A trailer should be used to set us up for a general idea of the movie. Would you like it if a horror film trailer mostly showed you the scenes in the beginning showing everyone having fun? No, I don't think you would, because it would be pretty silly.

To sum it up, this trailer fails hard at setting the film in question up to be anything resembling entertaining! It's like the chewed-up leftovers of a Michael Bay movie trailer. Since I did this review for the trailer, I will eventually see the movie itself next year, and you'll read my thoughts on it then. Until that day...I will lie in wait.

Review: The Next Three Days (2010) TH

Whatever it takes

When something unfair or wrong happens to us or someone we know, people attempt to rectify a situation in their own specific ways. Some would rather play by the rules, others have it in them to bend the rules, and there are those few that would actually break the rules if it meant protecting what matters most. That's what separates and defines our motivational factors as human beings living in an uncertain world where not everything is securely in our grasp.

The Brennan family gets a rude awakening when the wife gets arrested and the book slammed shut for cold blooded murder. Did she do it? Well, the community college teacher of a husband stands by to protect her despite the evidence being stacked. He's not a lawyer and he doesn't have friends in high places, but this everyday man does have enough determination to create a scheme to see his wife out one way or another. Enough to break a rule or even ten getting there.

"The Next Three Days" steadily paces as a drama/thriller. Russell Crowe's character goes through a number of emotional stages and encounters various people along the way, including those who are willing to help him, stop him or just plain got caught in the middle. There are some motivations glossed over as to how he got from point A to B, partly to give a continuous stream of action towards the latter portion to keep a viewer in the moment and from guessing the outcome. Those attempting to hamper his plan are unrealistically suspicious and coincidentally one step on top or behind to amp up the energy. It creates an escalating climax, but still feels manipulated to go a certain way by falling too much into the hands of the filmmakers to make this more marketable.

At the heart of it, the story manages to give something empowering back to those who've ever had an injustice against them, from getting robbed, laid off, cheated or, here, a loved one getting taken away and no chance of getting them back unless, that is, something's done about it.

Director: Paul Haggis (Crash, In the Valley of Elah)
Starring: Russell Crowe, Elizabeth Banks, Liam Neeson, Olivia Wilde
Website: IMDB