A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

On Sunday, August 30th, Wes Craven passed away, having lost his battle with brain cancer. As the acclaimed director of so many horror films, and the creator of one of horror’s foremost icons in Freddy Krueger, Craven’s work was certainly loved by many. He was the kind of guy who brought horror to the forefront and made it palatable for the masses - while still putting out quality stuff. In remembrance of Craven's legacy, I’m doing a special review of his original 1984 classic, A Nightmare on Elm Street.

Director: Wes Craven

Starring: Heather Langenkamp, Robert Englund, Johnny Depp, John Saxon

IMDb

I remember seeing this when I was about 14 for the first time, and I thought it was like nothing else I’d seen. The flashy colors, the fast pace and the surreal horror of the nightmares – it was a spectacle and it grabbed me by the throat in a vicegrip. Looking back now, it really was so influential to what came later. It opened up the doors for horror to take on realms outside our own, to explore nightmares and multiple realities, and it gave us all that in such a vibrant and colorful package – taking ideas explored in other psychological films to new levels by visualizing them. We felt the terror.

We start off with our fake main character, Tina, who has been having bad dreams of a man with long fingers for knives and wakes up with her nightgown slashed to ribbons in the front. Her initial suspicion was that Wolverine from the X-Men had snuck into bed with her, but she will soon find out it’s something much worse. Her mom tells her she either has to “stop having those dreams or cut her fingernails,” and ah yes, the days when parents could be that callous about their children waking up with cut-up clothes…

The third option is stop sleeping with scissors in your bed.

She tells her friends, Nancy and Glen, about the dream the next morning, but they of course shrug it off as insanity, as something so insane as a man with knives for hands could never pose a threat to them.

Johnny Depp is looking that way because Wes Craven held up a picture of a two-headed baby off screen to see if the actors could keep their concentration. Depp failed, so he was selected to be killed off later in the movie in the most brutal way.

That’s Johnny Depp as Glen, there, in his first movie role ever, who you might have trouble recognizing in this because he isn’t wearing a shitload of makeup and his hair looks like a normal person’s.

They all have a sleepover that night because Tina is afraid of her nightmares. When they hear a noise outside, they go to check and find it’s Rod, their delinquent wannabe friend who fulfills the ‘80s leather jacket’ quota for the movie. Because every 80s movie needed one of those, ya know – just a product of the time. They get into some verbal banter outside, and Rod immediately responds by pulling out a switchblade. Uh...guys, I’m really not sure that’s the dude you want to bring to your sleepover party.

"I'M NOT OVERREACTING!!!"

Rod then has sex with Tina, which is fine until afterwards when she is brutally murdered by knives cutting her up and throwing her around in the air. Gee - that’s how you know you’ve really got to work on your fucking game. When your partner dies.

Fuck. Just, holy fuck. What a brutal scene.

But this is actually the introduction of one of horror’s most iconic characters, Freddy Krueger, who I’m pretty sure was modeling your grandma’s Christmas sweaters for a living before he got big in this film. The scene where he’s introduced is excellently done, especially because he stretches his arms out like Slinkies and scrapes the walls with those long, metal claws he has. Yes, that's the reason it's excellent. Shut up.

Goddamn, this was all so fucking whacked out and insane. In the best way possible.

But this is a great scene. The nightmareish atmosphere is furiously fast and fun, and the acting is spot on from Englund and Amanda Wyss, who played Tina. Afterward, the surviving characters even start to figure out that Freddy stalks them in their dreams. Good for them. It's good that they're smart.

As Tina has left the building, the movie convenes in an emergency session after that and elects Nancy the new main character. She’s understandably upset the next day as she is in school and falls asleep only to wake up and see this:

Ugh, SO violating the dress code.

Then she runs into the worst hall monitor in the world:

Sorry to go on a bit of tangent here, but really, what is the point of hall monitors anyway? Are you just promoting some fascistic system where kids can’t be trusted to do things by themselves? I mean, if Freddy Krueger can transform into an annoying hall monitor with a striped sweater and a bleeding nose, and nobody notices that that isn't a good hall monitor, maybe it’s worth it to get rid of the profession as a whole.

We also get scenes of her visiting Rod in jail after he is arrested. Rod tells her he didn’t kill Tina, it was an invisible man cutting her up while he was in the room. You might recognize THAT as the lame-ass defense everyone gives now when they're accused of murder, but it actually started with this movie.

Rod is then killed in his cell, which prompts Nancy's father, the sheriff, to start intervening. He's played by John Saxon, the only man in Hollywood at the time who could use such a stern voice all the time.

Suicide, or killed by nightmareish dream-demon for revenge for his parents' sins. Either way, this isn't cool.

His sternness is eternal. It will never die. It will live on even longer than he himself.

While taking a bath at home, Nancy drifts off to sleep, which allows Freddy's hand to try and attack her in the tub. An interesting note: In this scene, actor Heather Langenkamp was not acting. She was just taking a regular bath in the privacy of her own home. Craven just wanted the fear to be real, which, really, is the only way to do a horror film.

Nancy is admitted to this psychiatric clinic where they test her brain waves while she's asleep to get to the root of the problem. The reason you know they're professionals is because they have computers and are wearing white coats. Nancy begins screaming insanely and bloody scratches start appearing on her, so, job well done, scientists! She's good to go home now, and you guys can continue doing your scientist-y jobs.

The greatest scientists in the world.

At home, Nancy has a shouting match with her mother, who refuses to tell her anything meaningful about Krueger. Why? Nancy already knows about him and is saying he's the one killing everyone. Who else could be killing everyone? How would Nancy know about Krueger if he's dead and in the past like her mother tells her? Does her mother really think she's that crazy or susceptible after just hearing his name once or something? I have so many questions.

None of which her mother will answer.

We also find out the sordid backstory of how the parents in the neighborhood burned Krueger alive in his boiler room because he was a child murderer. Which is bad, don't get me wrong. But what neighborhood doesn't have a good story to tell over hamburgers and beers at a cookout? Come on.

Glen is hanging out in his room later on when his bed eats him and spews out a bloodshower enough to cover the entire room for several seconds straight. I think that's awesome.

Clearly he was healthy, considering how strong his blood is.

We then also get the greatest phone sex scene in the history of movies.

So it's really just up to Nancy, who engages in a battle with Freddy. She manages to get Freddy into the real world, which results in one of the better jump scares I've seen – she wakes up, thinking it might actually all be over, and then he pops up from behind the bed. That's kick ass. Nancy isn't impressed, though, so she just sets him on fire and calls it a day.

Her father, the master of all good timing, shows up just in time to see his wife get eaten by a bed with a Halloween smoke machine in the room. Boy, the beds in this movie sure are hungry tonight.

The awesome kind of horror special effects I wish we would see more these days.

So everything seems to be good finally. It's a sunny day and perfect weather for a sunroof and parent murder:

So that's the end – the nightmare is reality and you can't really ever tell when it's over. Craven originally wanted the film to end in a happy manner, with everything that happened in the film just being a nightmare. I have to admit that would have been interesting. But I guess I'm a dark soul, because I like the ending we got. It works because it further blurs the line between the real world and Freddy's nightmare realm, like the whole rest of the movie was doing.

However – I can still see where Craven was coming from. His ending could've been good too. That's because this is a great horror movie, and it doesn't live or die by circumstance like that. This is a story about being young, right on the edge of adulthood. It's about the feeling of your parents dismissing what you say because you're a kid – but in your mind, you're almost an adult; they should listen to you. The kids in this movie find out that a devil in their nightmares is killing them, and it's their parents' fault. The kids themselves are blameless, yet they are the ones who face the penalty for their parents' sins.

Then, not only that, but their parents foil them at every turn in this film – Glen certainly would still be alive if his dad hadn't hung up on Nancy during that scene when she tried to reach him. Nancy's mom could have told the truth halfway through this movie and saved a bunch of lives. In ANOES, the parents are the “villains” - though they have no ill intent, they don't listen to their kids, dismissing them just for being kids, which is an all-too-common thing amongst adults. There's a sense of helplessness about everything in this film, which you, the viewer, feel by proxy of the characters.

Oh, and I guess Freddy Krueger is pretty evil too. I mean c'mon. The guy is a child killer, for fuck's sake.

Through the insane visuals, the groundbreaking story blending reality with dreams, the horrific visual nightmares and the iconic Freddy Krueger, who makes the most of his seven minutes of screentime here, Wes Craven and company created a classic. This is one of horror’s greats. If you haven't seen it, I really recommend it. And if you have, well, then you know what I'm talking about.

RIP Wes Craven. You are gone, but your work on this great film will live forever.

Images copyright of their original owners; we own none of them.

Review: The Tourist (2010) TH

Fanciful events for a whimsical vacation

This is another movie that uses a bait and switch with its trailer. It's made out to be an action/thriller with a constant, heart-racing traction, though the actual tone plays out as a somewhat light hearted mystery with an element of humor and some romance that comes across as lackadaisical, never knowing which angle to stick with, which makes the general mood an emotionally confusing and conflicting experience for a viewer. It's a film where the music acts as another character--sometimes distracting, sometimes getting the job done--to do the talking over panned shots that capture the rustic scenery of Italy that "The Tourist" primarily takes place in.

A woman named Elise (Jolie) is related to an investigation by the Financial Crimes Division of the Scotland Yard and in turn is being followed by agents wherever she goes in Europe. She receives a letter from a past lover named Alexander Pearce who she hasn't seen for over two years due to laying low after stealing billions of dollars (or millions of British pounds) from a gangster named Reginald Shaw who deals in businesses of vice such as casinos and brothels. Pearce, who reportedly had plastic surgery, tells her to find a man that looks similar in build, as others don't know what his new face looks like, to use as a distraction so Elise and him can finally meet up again and take off. While on a train destined for Venice, she picks a tourist that catches her eye. Apart from being bashful, Frank Tupelo (Depp) is a math teacher from Wisconsin despite his odd accent who reads spy novels and is more brain than suave. He lost his wife to a car crash three years earlier and is looking to rekindle a relationship, and what better way to do that than with a stunning woman who compliments himself, as he's honest and reserved, and she's sophisticated yet confident.

The Yard realized the ruse from a quick background check and let the dogs off of Frank, yet Shaw hears that Frank might actually be Alexander from a tipster going on old information and still places a bounty on him. Shaw surrounds himself with Russian henchmen and with his wealth pays off a few people to get ahold of Frank. This leads to a few chases--one involves a roof top and another a boat--but the amount of action scenes in this film can be counted on one hand. Even so, the tone feels up and down and has its moments of plodding along as it shoots inconsequential scenes and scenarios while the characters don't always feel like a solid part of the framework. The shots of the scenery and the bombastic score over top seem like they're more imposing than the human interaction at times.

Jolie isn't stretching very far outside of her range, as she acts more as a staggering presence who's seductive and elegant, not to mention secretive, while giving subtle looks and gestures to maintain the enigma. For the most part Depp surprisingly plays it normal and held back. The police and lower gangsters, despite some well-known names such as Paul Bettany and Timothy Dalton, feel like they play their parts evenly with nothing extra to remember them by. Steven Berkoff gets a chance to shine somewhat by bringing some distinguishable and compelling elements to the role of Shaw. The movie has a final twist, though the problem is prior to that it wasn't able to maintain a firm command even if the viewer gets a little reward for the wait.

Director: Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (The Lives of Others)
Starring: Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Paul Bettany, Timothy Dalton, Steven Berkoff
Website: IMDB

How the thought process for "On Stranger Tides" went...

OK, Colin already did a great review of this movie, but I saw it too, so I’m just going to echo most of his thoughts with this brief reimagining of how the “thought process” for this “epic masterpiece” probably went. Enjoy.

The setting is Hollywood, a land of plague, fire and death, where volcanoes erupt every 2.7 minutes and kill most innocent civilians unfortunate enough to be in the area. A DEVIL HORNED EXECUTIVE is speaking to his MINION, who grovels before his gigantic ebony throne, humbled in his presence.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: We’re running low on money for our Olympic-sized pools, gold-plated Chevrolets and deluxe-edition DVDs of the Rush Hour movies. What kind of torture can we mass produce on the public next?

MINION: Well, we already have a Transformers sequel in the works…about a dozen superhero movies being produced as we speak…I’m all out of ideas.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: Well, think of something, fool, before I have your hands fed to the leeches again!

MINION: Not the leeches!

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: The leeches! THE LEECHES!

MINION collapses into a near-catatonic state of fear. DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE snaps his fingers, and he snaps out of it immediately.

MINION: What about that other series? You know, the one where the actors quit and we couldn’t get their contracts re-signed because of that damned loophole?

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: You mean…

MINION: Yes.

BOTH turn towards camera, unblinking.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: Alright, call Johnny Depp. Bloom and Knightley may have escaped, but fortunately Depp’s contract extends for many more years. He still owes us at least 3 more Tim Burton movies in which he will have to dress up in some kind of comical makeup. And call Geoffrey Rush. He’ll probably do it for free as long as we give him more peanuts.

MINION: Yes, master. But what of the rest of the cast? We’ll need mostly new actors, you know.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: We’ll need to stick as closely to the formula of the last three as possible. We don’t want to do any actual thinking with this. We must remain as piecemeal as possible! That’s the true secret to filmmaking, dear Minion – do as little work and produce as much money as you can. I think throwing in a beautiful but oppressed young woman and a virtuous and attractive yet bland male character to have a contrived and soulless romance together will be fine. That way people will be distracted from exactly how little material we have for Depp’s jokes AND we will appear to have emotional depth!

MINION: But what about the plot?!

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: Oh, that’s not important at all. Throw in some half-assed mythos vaguely related to pirates and people will cheer and call it delightfully whimsical escapism.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE walks over to a giant jar filled with folded pieces of paper, closes his eyes, sticks his hand in and pulls one out to read it.

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: Make it about the Fountain of Youth. That ought to do it even though it has little to do with anything in the last three films. Don’t worry too much about writing. As long as Depp gets to wave his fingers around, mug for the camera and scream a lot it should be OK. It doesn’t even matter if the plot makes no sense at all.

MINION: Okay…

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: No, no, wait…that’s not nearly convoluted enough. People might actually end up enjoying the film that way. Add in some crap about Blackbeard – he was a pirate, so he fits in this movie. If you need an actor, go twist some thumbs until you get a seasoned veteran who will likely be greatly embarrassed afterward. Get him drunk first or something. And we need a third plot thread, so have Blackbeard have a daughter who once dated Jack Sparrow. And have that be as comically back-and-forth love-and-hate as you can get, because if there’s anything the Pirates of the Caribbean series needs, it’s “borrowing” from Judd Apatow’s idea of how people in relationships act. I’m so brilliant it hurts!

MINION: I know!

DEVIL-HORNED EXECUTIVE: WE JUST MADE A MOVIE WITHOUT HAVING TO PUT ANY REAL EFFORT INTO IT AT ALL! Our wallets are safe for another day. Now get some of the lesser people on the planning for the fifth movie. OFF WITH YOU!

MINION slinks off to do his bidding…

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)

Starring: Johnny Depp, Penelope Cruz, Ian McShane, Geoffrey Rush, Kevin McNally

Director: Rob Marshall

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1298650/

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pirates_of_the_Caribbean:_On_Stranger_Tides

So is this what I have been reduced to on this blog? Reviewing bad sequels to action movies? *Sigh* Let's get this over with...

Johnny Depp is back in his iconic role as Jack Sparrow in this fourth (that's right, fourth) addition to the "Pirates of the Caribbean" film series. Picking up where the last one left off, we find him on a quest to discover the Fountain of Youth. But he is not alone: he is joined on his journey, whether he likes it or not, by Barbossa and Gibbs (played once again by Geoffrey Rush and Kevin McNally respectively), as well as an old flame named Angelica (Penelope Cruz) and her father, the legendary Blackbeard, (Ian McShane).

Ok, I'll be fair; it was actually pretty decent. The biggest problems of the two previous sequels were that they had an overstuffed plot (the movies basically had a two-part story arch) and too many over-the-top, pointless action sequences. This film, on the other hand, is much more sensible, with a generally straightforward and interesting story-line and with action scenes that are dramatic but do not feel forced. It actually brings to mind the first film. The new cast helps as well; Cruz and McShane do well in their roles. Depp and the rest of the returning cast, meanwhile, have been playing their roles for so long now that they kind of had to be good.

But you don't want to hear me praise it; you want me to tear it to shreds. Very well...

From a logistical standpoint, there are a few problems with sections of the story. Blackbeard is shown to have magical powers that can bring any ship under his control. So why does he need a crew at all? Can't he just sail the ship himself? Another plot hole which is not as prominent but far stranger (no pun intended) takes place at the end: the Spanish military, which is on the same mission as Sparrow and co., reveal their intentions on what to do about the Fountain. I will not spoil the "surprise," but believe me when I say that their reasoning (or lack thereof) is really, really, really bizarre and makes no sense whatsoever on any level of sanity. There is also a subplot involving a missionary (Sam Claflin) and a mermaid (Astrid Berges-Frisbey), a half-hearted attempt replace the Will Turner-Elizabeth Swann relationship of the previous films (as if it were necessary) that contributes only a minimum amount to the plot and for the most part appears pointless. That is, unless, they decide to make a fifth movie, God forbid.

I guess my biggest overall criticism of the film would be that, despite the reboot, it still feels kind of old. As I said, it brings to mind the first film, but that's both a good and a bad thing. The bad part is that when you watch it, it feels like it's really...average. It's not that there are no new ideas being put in play and it didn't really drag at all (though one or two parts go on a little longer then they should have); it's just that there does not really seem to be any reason to care. I know it sounds like I'm being very ambiguous, but it is just difficult to put it into words. Maybe the last three films have drained the franchise of its vitality; maybe there was another reason that I didn't pick up on. Whatever it is, it's there, and it is difficult to get away from it.

In my opinion, the original "Pirates of the Caribbean" is the best and is frankly the only one that is actually worth seeing in terms of its relative entertainment value. Everything that has come afterward has mostly been time-wasters. As far as time-wasters go, however, this isn't too bad. It's a little difficult for me to recommend it outright, but it would not really harm you if you did see it. You may even genuinely enjoy the movie. Just don't set your hopes too high.

I do not own the rights to the above image; it is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not sue me.

Review: Ed Wood (1994)

Director: Tim Burton

Starring: Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker, Bill Murray, Jeffrey Jones, Lisa Marie

"I just want to tell stories. The things that interest me."

-Ed Wood

You know, I don’t get Tim Burton. It’s been a while since I’ve seen his much lauded The Nightmare Before Christmas opus, but the ones I have seen recently are all messed up, quality wise. He puts out a great movie like Batman, then the awful pile of hack that was Batman Returns. These days he puts out dreck like Sweeney Todd and then entertaining flicks like Alice in Wonderland, defying all expectations. I hate some elements of his style, but even I can’t deny the power of some of his best films. Like Ed Wood. Yup, that’s all you’re gonna get for a segueway.

Ed Wood is just masterful. I can’t remember the last time I enjoyed a film like this…oh wait, it was when I watched The Big Lebowski a few days ago; scratch that. But this is still a very accomplished and well done flick. It’s about the life of Edward D. Wood Jr., one of the worst film directors of all time, and it chronicles his journey to attaining that wonderful honor. It’s even shot in all black and white, just like films back in Ed’s time were! Guess who the lead actor is?

a)     Nic Cage

b)     Dennis Hopper

c)     Johnny Depp

d)    Keanu Reeves

If you guessed “c”…well, duh! It’s a Tim Burton movie! But he does a very good job as our energetic, quirky director, even cross-dressing on camera. Yes, that’s right. Johnny Depp cross dresses; you have to see it to believe it. His acting here is really good though, capturing an innocence that is usual for the characters Burton has him play, but also a certain subtlety that seems to escape both of them in their later days. I think my favorite, though, is Martin Landau as Bela Lugosi. He really does a spectacular job, channeling all the hopelessness of an old washed up celebrity and making him totally likable and amiable. Just watch the first scene where Ed is over at his house, where they watch the old re-run of one of Lugosi’s films on the Vampira show. He starts doing this thing with his hand that apparently, all vampires have to do to seduce women. And the look on his face when the trick-or-treater isn’t scared by his Dracula get up is priceless. This is the best character in the film by far, but that isn’t saying much, as the others are all still very good, too.

Jeffrey Jones as Criswell is hilarious with his stoic expression and calm tone. Bill Murray as “Bunny” is a smaller role, but every scene he’s in, you can tell he’s having fun, and you will be laughing along with him. Sarah Jessica Parker as Delores is pretty damn solid, too, and she shows a wide range of emotions and moods that are just hysterical combined with Wood’s happy-go-lucky act. And Lisa Marie as Vampira is priceless…hell, I could go on listing every member of this cast; it’s really phenomenal. What a great cast.

The story chronicles the haphazard adventures of the making of three of Wood’s much storied films, from the ‘true to life’ story of Glen or Glenda, in which he turned a contract from a porn studio to put out a sex-change movie into a rambling, incoherent mess of his own personal demons, to the making of Bride of the Monster, where he and his crew stole materials from a bigger studio but did not actually have the equipment to make them work right, and finally to Plan 9 From Outer Space, which…well, I’ll go into it later. With every quickly-filmed scene, every messy execution and every mistake, Wood just repeats the words “That was perfect!” and moves on, eager to keep filming. He just loves telling stories, and he doesn’t care how sloppy he gets. “Nobody will notice that,” he says indignantly, shooing off any criticism. What’s going on in his head? I don’t know. But that good natured smile and those wild eyes are poised to succeed no matter how bad he ends up sucking. He’s just unstoppable, even when the rest of the world hates him.

This movie is mostly pretty funny, but I have to admit it gets pretty sad at times, too, like when Bela is committed to the rehab center, and spends his first night awake, screaming his head off. And his final scene out in the yard, being filmed staggering around and smelling flowers…well, just try and watch that scene and tell me you weren’t touched.

But he passed away, as he did in real life, before the filming of Plan 9 ever started, and life went on. How does Ed deal with it? Just like in real life, he hires some guy who looks nothing like him to walk around with a cape in front of his face, obscuring the fact that it isn’t really him. Some of Ed Wood’s best scenes occur in this last segment, the filming of the infamous crown jewel of B movies, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and that’s quite a feat. I think the scene where they all get baptized is my favorite in the entire film. And Ed’s explosion in front of the Baptist sponsors is classic, his voice hitting a squealy high that is really funny.

“Do you know anything about the art of filmmaking?” asks one of the Baptists, to which Ed replies, “I would hope so!”

That pretty much sums up the entire movie right there. Ed Wood is a vivid, hilarious, witty and extremely clever look at a very strange man. I haven’t seen all of Tim Burton’s movies yet, but of the ones I have seen, this one is the best, by far and wide. And that’s saying a lot, considering how much I loved Batman. Ed Wood encapsulates a number of things that make film so great – artful, stylish directing, comedy that goes between subtle and overt, great acting and casting choices and it’s just all around entertaining as hell. What more could you want? Go see this movie; especially if you like Burton’s later, more over the top work. It’s worth a viewing by anyone.

Review: The Ninth Gate (1999)

A satanic mystery-thriller released in 1999 that has 66.6 on IMDb...something is amiss here.

Director: Roman Polanski

Starring: Johnny Depp, Emmanuelle Seigner, Frank Langella

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0142688/

"Look around you all what do you see? A bunch of buffoons parading around in fancy dress. You think the prince of Darkness would deign to manifest himself before the likes of you? He never has and he never will!"

-Boris Balkan

I really expected this to be a bad one. I don’t even know why…I just did.

Well, it’s not. This is actually a Roman Polanski film, which I didn’t know when I first heard of it, and I have to say, I’m not that familiar with the guy. But from what I do know about him, he works hard on his movies. He really knows how to put them together. I’ve seen his newest flick Ghost Writer and now this one, and both of them are really well constructed, memorable films, even despite having a distinct lack of popular Hollywood-ized hooks and candy-coated dialogue. Where Ghost Writer was a sleek, tempered political thriller, The Ninth Gate is more like a slow-burning descent down a long, winding stairway, with the temperature rising steadily as you go.

Starring Johnny Depp as Dean Corso, this is about a book-detective who gets hired to track down the last two remaining copies of a satanic text that has mystical codes in it. He gets mixed up with an enigmatic young blonde girl who seems to be out to help him, and also a duo of prestigious and shady nature who want to steal the one copy he does have back. As people start to die around him, Depp’s stoic nature and lack of any kind of superstition undergo a heavy challenge…

I can’t say this is a great movie, but it is pretty good. I’m surprised how memorable I found it. The characters are well-acted and the locations are well-lit and really cool and exotic – look at all of the empty city streets, ancient buildings, decaying temple walls and dusty libraries; it’s practically ripe for a satanic thriller to be made out of. Depp always looks cool and acts cool, even if the weird stuff going on around him overshadows his acting alone. I have to say I really enjoyed the performance of Emmanuelle Seigner as “the girl.” She’s sexy, she’s mysterious and she just kicks ass. Even if those flying effects she does when she jumps are really corny looking. Props to her for doing a really great job.

And I just think that the film’s attention to a fairly minimalistic way of storytelling and presentation is charming. I don’t know, it’s just cool. With all the big budget flicks and super-polished films around with a ton of effects, watching a movie like this is refreshing, even if I am about 11 years late to the punch. The movie still has a ton of suspense, and it will really pull you in with its deftly placed twists and turns. It’s not a fast paced thriller at all, but it kind of slowly works its way into your bones, and even when it isn’t that exciting, you still want to know what happens next. That’s a sign of a good flick.

The Ninth Gate has some problems. Some of the action scenes are clumsy and awkward and it does run a little too long at over two hours. But overall it’s a really solid thriller that will put some chills in your bones if you watch it late at night. Thumbs up to Polanski.