The Avengers: Age of Ultron, Black Widow and Sexism

The new Avengers movie is out, and people are angry about stuff again – more specifically the character Black Widow, and whether or not her portrayal is sexist in the movie. So, is it? Well, let's talk about that.

For those of you not in the know, I'll try and sum up peoples' problems – basically, in the movie, Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and the Hulk/Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo) have struck up a romance between films. The first thing we really see Black Widow do is touch the Hulk's hand and help him turn back into Banner. A lot of her role in this movie is interacting with Banner. There's one scene where the two have a conversation about how they can't have a normal life together, because they can't have kids.

Now, I'm not one to try and presume anything about people with such vastly different life experiences than me. If you thought this was a sexist portrayal and they could have done it differently, I'm fine with that. I just didn't see it that way.

The thing nobody is saying about this is that Black Widow before this was a pretty generic character – she was the stoic badass tough chick with very little else to her. I know Joss Whedon wrote some great tough chicks in Buffy, but they were full, three dimensional characters, with worries, fears, individual thoughts and realistic personalities. To me it always seemed like Black Widow was just a cardboard cutout of a character, although Johansson did a good job portraying her especially in the second Captain America flick.

Now, in this new one, she does kinda have a character – she's in love with Bruce Banner. And no, a woman character being in love with a guy is not the only way to show character. But the way she acts in this movie is refreshingly honest and down to Earth for a Marvel flick. You can believe her character and you feel sympathy for her, as cheesy and simple as the romance is – it works. I can see why people think it's sexist for a female character to be based solely around being in love with a man, but frankly, Bruce Banner doesn't have any other plot in The Avengers 2 besides being in love with her, either. It goes both ways.

If it were a much older movie and Banner was portrayed as the uncaring, stoic, manly-man character who was complex and full-bodied, while Black Widow was portrayed as a wishy-washy emotional female, then I'd probably be on the other side of the argument. But as is, it's just a fairly decent portrayal of two people caring about each other.

The one scene people are complaining the most about is when Banner says he can never have a normal life, have kids, etc. She matches him and says she can't have kids because she was a trained assassin and they sterilized her. The line is “you still think you're the only monster on this team?” It comes off to me as two people trying to relate to one another and connect – it was fine. Some people, I guess, thought that scene suggested Black Widow's character was only wanting kids, etc – stereotypical, cliche woman stuff, which seemed sexist and outdated to them.

What people overlook in all of this is that being in love and wanting kids and everything IS realistic, and it can make for a good, interesting story. It brings out the softer sides of characters – in a superhero flick, that's pretty important. While some writers can certainly come off as sexist by not fleshing out their women characters enough, I think Whedon did it fine within the constraints of Marvel Studios' ridiculously anal-retentive control game over their movies.

So what exactly is the root of the problem here? I just think sometimes people can take their eye off the ball – they make it more about politics than about character, and their sight can be a bit too narrow. A lady can certainly have a love interest and her character can be sad when the guy is in trouble or whatever else – that's a human emotion and it adds depth. Trying to make it so women can only be tough, bad ass, stand-alone sirens of war who don't need men is just tipping the scale too far in the other direction from the old cliché of the weak-willed, subservient women characters of the 60s and 70s. You've got to have a medium. At some point, you just have to quit worrying about it and write the best character you can.

There's also the Internet mentality of “well, if you're not X, you must be Y” - like, if Whedon didn't write the most complex, individual, independent and unique woman in a movie ever (every time he does something, too), he's a misogynist – like it can only be one or the other. There's just no grey area with the Internet, and in everything in real life, there's tons of grey area. People aren't just one thing or the other. Not everything has to advance the same single agenda or else it's the opposite of that agenda. That's kind of a childish way to look at the world.

If you're only writing one type of character, chances are, you're a bad writer. Women, like men, can be sensitive, they can be tough, they can be easy to anger or they can be chill and relaxed – they're human beings, and a good writer pays more attention to the human emotion of a character rather than trying to fill a quota by making X number of characters whatever personality type.

And it's a tough thing to really balance out and measure – how do you balance out the expectations of an audience that wants equality, but with so many different ideas of how to do it? You also have to take into account that, with a movie like this, where a lot of kids are watching - some of them young girls - you need to have a good role model type of character. It's a sensitive issue, and I can see why people want to talk about it and debate it.

There's obviously a problem in Hollywood with having good, well written ladies in the movies. There are some, especially when you get down to more independent films – it's not an epidemic or a total void of quality. But in terms of real mainstream, well done female heroines, we could definitely always do better. So if that's your argument, well, I don't have a problem with that – just put away the torches and the pitchforks on Whedon. I mean, damn, he isn't that bad. 

And listen - everyone, and I mean everyone, is allowed to have some opinion on this. Our personal experiences shape our viewpoints on everything, social issues, politics, etc. Some people, women or men, may see the movie as sexist or whatever else, and maybe they're not entirely wrong. But do you have to shut people out who disagree with you? Feminists telling a bunch of straight white dudes to shut up are just as wrong as misogynistic assholes telling women their problems aren't big deals - they're all wrong. Just, fuck, don't be a dick about it. You don't have to have a final, line-in-the-sand answer to every question. Sometimes viewpoints are still evolving and you don't have to be sure of everything.

With that said, though; yeah, we really do need a Black Widow stand alone movie. Get on that, Marvel, you bastards.

Images copyright of their original owners; I own none of them.

In Your Eyes (2014)

Today I learned that Joss Whedon apparently has no grasp on reality. Why would I say that about a guy who has made some TV shows and movies I really enjoy? Well, because I just saw In Your Eyes.

Director: Brin Hill

Starring: Zoe Kazan, Michael Stahl-David

IMDb

Co-written with Michelle.

This is seriously insipid, candy-fluffed nonsense that I would use harsher language for, but really it's too innocuous to deserve that; being more akin to a really goofy, dumb looking small animal stumbling around with no real special purpose or means of survival. Apparently the script was written way back in the early 90s, so I guess that gives Whedon a pass – I mean we're not talking about the later-era Whedon who wrote the excellently done romances in Angel. It was an earlier time and maybe he just hadn't fully grown into his own as a writer yet.

Buuuuuuut I still wouldn't want professional directors, actors and studios putting money into the crap I was writing 20 years ago if I was in his position!

This movie starts off with a boy and girl in different parts of the country, who have a mysterious telepathic connection. It's pretty unexplored at this point though, and we see the girl go sledding and crash into a tree. The boy feels it too, and falls out of his desk at school like he's having a seizure. Of course the teacher doesn't seem to care at first, thinking he's just horsing around. Because in a bad movie, kids horse around in class by falling out of their desks.

Then we skip ahead like 20 years, and apparently nothing interesting happened in either of their lives in between then and now? No more weird psychic, telepathic events that alerted you to things going on with your bodies that you might want to get checked out? This is really the first hole of the movie, not even five minutes in. I mean, there are TV psychics who build careers out of less evidence than you guys have!

I mean, there were just so many other possibilities you could've gone with, and you chose the worst one! It would have been more interesting to see them developing as teens and discovering their psychic connection together. But the way the movie plays it, they apparently just lived pretty normal lives until they were working in their late 20s or so and then randomly, out of nowhere, discovered their powers. Zoe Kazan's character even mentions a few times that she was in a mental hospital as a teen, so I figured maybe that had something to do with her powers, and the movie would get some real tension and conflict. But nope; it's just a non-sequitur. What a tease.

They just picked the worst, least dramatic time period for these characters' lives to set the movie up in, and as a result, I find myself just wishing one of these characters would get cancer or have a volcanic mental meltdown in the middle of a crowded subway station.

But that doesn't happen. What we get instead is basically the most over the top, exaggerated cliché of their respective lifestyles – the guy, Dylan, is an ex-con fresh out of prison who lives in a trailer and hangs out at the stereotypical small town redneck bar where of course fights break out every night. And of course, Dylan is the best looking redneck in New Mexico – because yes, real ex-cons in shitty little small towns do look like this.

He's the hottest GQ cover model to ever spend time in prison and then get out and live in a trailer park.

The girl, Rebecca, is a wealthy trophy wife socialite who hangs out at parties where they gabber on about just the most meaningless, trite, played-out crap you'd expect background characters in some kind of awful 90s sitcom caricature of a big fancy party. The women all talk about men and who's sleeping with who, because what else do women ever have to talk about? The men just talk about business, because why not? It's kind of like if Pride and Prejudice was adapted into a screenplay by Tommy Wiseau.

"Oh, you're here for our monthly pointless-exposition-spewing party!"

Another ridiculous plot point is that Dylan apparently went to prison for committing crimes with his two childhood school buddies, who he has kept in touch with and still hangs out with now. Who the fuck hangs out with kids they knew in middle school when they're in their 30s? Are you seeing what I mean here? It's all just so cartoony, corny and cliché. If it was just little things and the actual story was meatier and more interesting, fine – but no, this is literally the entire movie up to now. Just a painful trudge through cliches slapping you around like a wet ferret in a hurricane.

I thought maybe it'd get better when we got to the real meat of the story – you know, maybe show off more of that old Whedon charm and wit – but no, it really doesn't. They first “connect” while she's at a shoe store, and start to see glimpses through each others' eyes. You'd think they would be shocked, alarmed and have huge questions – but nope, they start chatting like old acquaintances and ask about what cars they have.

Either she's just discovered she has telekinetic powers and can talk to a guy on the other side of the country, or she just found a good deal on shoes at this store. Either one.

It's really just strange more than anything – so they suddenly have this intrusive voice in their heads and they just go with it happily, like some strange pen pal program? I mean, the biggest chance any of us would have in this situation would be getting someone in our heads who's really annoying and we don't like talking to. But apparently these two just got super lucky.

Not to mention the powers are extremely inconsistent and don't seem to have rules. Sometimes, they activate randomly when Rebecca is least expecting it. Other times they seem to be able to turn it on and off. I'm also amazed they manage to figure out how to work their powers so quickly! They must be psychic geniuses.

And I get it; I fucking do – not everything has to be super 100% realistic. It's supposed to be a stars-crossed-lovers story. But you have to have some kind of human connection, some kind of depth. You can write the most fantastical, unbelievable things. But you have to have the human element, the relatable writing where characters act in ways you can understand. Whedon himself would master this later on, but this script just has zero emotional connection in it. So I guess this movie is kind of his sketchy demo tape in comparison – it's easier to digest when you look at it that way.

The film just drags on with scenes of the two characters attempting to emote but really just acting like robots interacting on a deserted wasteland with no human contact for three decades prior. Oh, and we get a slew of horrible, horrible songs played over "artsy" shots of the main characters just wandering around looking at nothing. Yes, please give us more music rejected from your cousin's Beatles imitation wedding band in the movie, guys! We just need more!

These scenes are as deep as a James Bond villain's pool filled with man-eating sharks!

I mean, okay, the acting is fine for what meager scraps the script gives them, and even the dialogue could be way worse – I've certainly seen more soulless verbal vomit on screen. But really it just comes down to the fact that their characters' struggles are about as substantial as Necco wafers – fluffy, insubstantial, pastel-colored pap.

Pictured: the movie. Or, Necco wafers. I forget which one.

Yes, please, endear me to the plight of the bored house-wife who could do anything she wants with her free time and copious amounts of money, but just doesn't have the imagination, so instead she hangs out with an imaginary friend in her head. I'm sure the legions of Instagram followers will be sympathetic.

And what about Dylan? Yeah he's an ex-con and struggling to find work, but he only loses the job he has because he's talking to Rebecca in his head constantly while doing work which makes him look crazy. Otherwise he seems to be OK; he has his own place to live and isn't struggling to eat. Hell, he's got beer money. I guess we're supposed to feel sorry for him because he looks out at a changing sunset for hours on end with nothing else to do.

This is as deep as a cavernous black chasm opening up to the center of the Earth that you would die screaming in if you tripped and fell into!

Oh, but there is a scene where Rebecca helps Dylan ask out some idiotic woman at that same dumb bar. He invites her over to his trailer, and tries to cook steak, which goes about as well as it ever does in movies. I remember always thinking as a kid, man, it must be hard as shit to cook anything, being that all these dumb-ass movies depicted cooking as this arcane alchemy that only a Zen master could perfect. Seriously, it really isn't as hard as movies like to pretend. You follow the fucking directions, and most of the time you'll get it right after a few times practicing, no matter what it is. But because this is a doofy romantic comedy, we get this instead:

I was really, really hoping he would just serve her steak literally on fire on a plate and go "here you go, sorry it's a little burnt!"

The ending is just more of the same crap – he has to go save her because her second rate Ralph Fiennes husband's evil switch flipped on and he locked her up in a mental asylum because he suspected she was cheating on him. Because apparently we've gone back in time to the plots of 1950s romantic telenovelas for inspiration!

It's not really an issue, though, as they help each other telepathically to get to one another, with him teaching her to pick locks so she can open the door and escape, and her giving him directions to drive to the asylum, like she's the world's prettiest-looking GPS. So this is really about as tense as a Barney cartoon's plot would get.

They have a pretty boring romp through the snow and then kiss after jumping implausibly, hilariously, into a moving train box car.

I guess they must also have super speed running powers, because I have no fucking idea how this ends without them both crushed underneath the train.

Apparently these characters have never kissed anyone before somehow, because they both look like they're trying to eat one another.

So what next? My guess is they just use their powers to see into each others' eyes while looking at one another, thus causing a rip in the time stream and sending both of their souls spiraling out of their bodies and into the abyss forever. I mean, they don't know each other that well, neither of them has any financial income and they'll probably grow to resent each other quickly due to this incredibly hasty, poorly planned elopement together. So my ending is happier, really.

Images copyright of their original owners; I own none of them.

REVIEW: The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Whenever Joss Whedon puts out something new, I always know it will at least be worth looking at. The man is frankly inimitable, and while not everything he touches is absolute genius, it’s always a lot of fun and he has a great, witty and sort of playful style to everything he touches that sort of plays with your expectations and straddles a line between goofy and serious, usually coming out the best of both worlds – it takes talent to balance comedy and drama and Whedon is good at it. But when talking about playing with an audience’s expectations, nothing in his catalog tops The Cabin in the Woods.

Director: Drew Goddard

Starring: Kristin Connolly, Fran Kranz

IMDb

This is just a delight of a movie. Horror satire is nothing new. Movies have been doing it forever, and since Scream came out in the late 90s, it’s blown up into almost its own genre. But I frankly think this is one of the best satires of the genre I’ve ever seen. The trick with satire is to make a good movie anyway in spite of the jokes and riffing on whatever it is you’re making fun of. You can’t just throw in a bunch of cheap one liners like Scary Movie or something. There has to be a story to your satire that is independently entertaining and drives home a unified point. And in my opinion, the more out-there and ridiculous, the better the satire. I mean, the idea behind this is that there’s a secret government organization out there that sacrifices college kids to the Old Gods every year to keep the Earth safe – and they do this by re-enacting tired horror movie clichés. So there’s your answer: why do so many horror movies use the same tired formula over and over? Because if they didn’t, the Old Gods would destroy the Universe.

The Cabin in the Woods works because Whedon does play with your expectations. It starts off pretty innocuous; just a bunch of college kids going to, shock of all shocks, a cabin in the woods for the weekend. They’re better characters than is usual for these kinds of movies, and Whedon’s wry dialogue endows them with a greater sense of personality than is the norm. But mostly it just looks like it’s going to be a regular silly horror movie, only done up with the old Whedon charm and style. The characters laugh and sexual tension arises and they even find a bunch of creepy stuff in the attic – almost, you might say, a catalog of jumbled items that bring forth demonic entities in other films, compiled here all in one room…

What really sets the movie apart is the other scenes, featuring a bunch of scientists at this government building trying to orchestrate events so that the kids will die as sacrifices for the Old Gods. The scientists are pretty silly and mostly serve as comic relief, but the juxtaposition of these scenes with the more generic horror movie styled ones makes for a really entertaining and twisted romp. The settings are cool and bring new life to really dated and tired movie settings – the cold sterile laboratory and the woodsy cabin, both.

The final half hour is the real cincher with this as things blow up and get messy, fast. By the time our two remaining heroes break into the lab and encounter all the various monsters, you’re convinced this is the most fun you’ll have all year. There’s one scene right at the beginning of this sequence, in which every monster attacks a bunch of soldiers all at once, that is probably my favorite scene in any movie so far this year. It’s a masterpiece of chaos and destruction.

The problem with this whole thing is pretty easy to see, really: it’s not exactly a deep film, and doesn’t really have the dramatic gusto to rank up with Whedon’s best works. Despite being incredibly enjoyable, it doesn’t have that spark that elevates it into something truly great – not when stacked up with Whedon’s Angel, anyway, although holding up anything he does to that standard is a bit unfair. The Cabin in the Woods, though, for all its nudging jocular humor and spry wit, is a bit of a light snack for the seasoned Whedon fan. Maybe if it had been twenty minutes longer and established the individual characters more, it would flesh out into something amazing and more multi-layered (which I know he loves to do in other works), but as it is, it leaves you wanting more.

And also I think the movies this is satirizing have become fairly passé at this point, and are no longer the main evil among horror films. While very funny, I can’t help but think this film is making fun of a social stigma that almost no longer exists. Nobody really makes movies about dumbass kids going out in the woods anymore. Maybe if this had been made back in the late 80s it would have been truly gut-wrenching, but as is, this is a bit outdated, to be honest.

Despite the problems, Cabin in the Woods is still a really entertaining romp, and it’s a testament to Whedon’s skill that I can overlook my critical problems with the film and just take it as a big, silly and fun slice of cheese. Nothing about this is in any way dissatisfying on a purely aesthetic level. It’s one of the most fun films this year, and Whedon is practically winking at you from the sidelines the entire time, a silly, childlike grin on his face. That’s how this movie should always be watched. 

Images copyright of their original owners. I do not own any of them.

The Avengers (2012)

Starring: A bunch of people

Director: Joss Whedon

IMDb: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0848228/

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Avengers_(2012_film)

Many of you have never heard of this small independent film that explores the deep realms of the human psyche by analysing the most intellectually intriguing phrase of our time: "HULK SMASH!!!!!"

Or it just might be about something completely different...

The movie starts off with Loki (Tom Hiddleston) coming to Earth with the intent of becoming its supreme ruler. It is up to a familiar group of superheroes, including Iron Man, Captain America, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Black Widow, and Hawkeye (respectively played by Robert Downey, Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, and Jeremy Renner) under the guidance of Nick Furry (Samuel L. Jackson) to stop him. However, they first have to learn to work together as their conflicting personalities soon become apparent.

Umm...it's awesome! Nope, I don't have anything to add to that; I think I've made myself pretty clear. Okay, fine, if you insist...

I was expecting this movie to be pretty good even though I have mixed feelings about the previous Marvel movies that preceded it. "Captain America" was great and "The Incredible Hulk" was enjoyable. The "Iron Man" movies were pretty good though I feel like they could have been better. "Thor"...was okay, but I say that generously since it had major flaws. Still, I figured this movie would take enough of the best elements from each of them and be able to create a competent story. And...it did! It really just goes all out: it makes the most of the characters and how they interact with each other, it has a number of funny moments that are actually funny, it has some good serious moments, and (perhaps most importantly) it has lots and lots and LOTS of action!!! What more can you want?!!!

That's pretty much it. I really can't elaborate on it any further, at least not without spoiling it. Too be honest, I can't really criticize it either. The only part I really questioned was how the characters seemed be clued in on a bunch of the major details about each other and the situation at hand. But they explain how the film takes place about a year after the other ones ended and given how persistent Nick Furry has been about keeping tabs on people (and how high profile some of their individual circumstances were in the media) its seems logical that they would all have a basic idea of what was going on. Which is good because it minimizes the number of scenes needed to do all that explaining and cuts straight to the good parts!

So...yeah! It is a really solid, excellent movie. Most of you who are reading this are probably going to see it anyway or have already done so, but if you are on the fence for some reason, I definitely recommend it. I can't think of any other superhero movie that will be able to beat this one this summer...

Hmm...forgot about that one...

P.S.: As you would expect, there is a scene after the main closing credits that...okay, I will not spoil it. And if you wait until the end of rest of the credits, there is something else. Just in case you wanted to know.

Review: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog (2008)

Director: Joss Whedon

Starring: Neil Patrick-Harris, Felicia Day, Nathan Fillion

Website: http://drhorrible.com/

Penny: You're not really interested in the homeless, are you?

Dr. Horrible: No, I am, but... it's a symptom. You're treating a symptom while the disease rages on, consumes the human race. The fish rots from the head, so they say. So I'm thinking, why not cut off the head?

Penny: [pause] Of the human race?

Dr. Horrible: It's not a... perfect metaphor. 

Long gone are the days when superhero films could only be cheesy, substance-less action flicks. With the advent of films like The Dark Knight and the ill-fated Watchmen movie, we see superhero films reaching the mainstream with an added dosage of introspection and psychology for a new kind of depth, whether people like it or not. And who better to exploit this to the full than Mr. Joss Whedon himself? This…is Dr. Horrible’s Sing Along Blog.

I remember seeing the name for this movie a lot and thinking, wow, that can’t possibly be good. But like that cliché goes, never judge a book by its cover, and that rang true with this well enough. Dr. Horrible (as I will abbreviate the title to from here on out) is just a joy to behold on every level. Literally everything you could ask for is here, and all condensed down to a manageable and admirable 40 minute mark. We’ve got great characters, we’ve got snappy, witty dialogue, we’ve got some good jokes, and we’ve got some tragedy as well. Everything you could ask for, brewed up into a succinct statement of enjoyable filmmaking. There’s no room here for bullshit or tedious extravagance, all of that is eschewed completely.

The most interesting thing you will first notice is that the main character Dr. Horrible, played by Neil Patrick Harris, is, well…very obviously the “antagonist.” But yet he’s also the one we’re supposed to root for in this story. It’s because he’s a rather woebegone figure, a silly, introverted guy who makes videos on the internet and gets awkward around pretty Penny (Felicia Day) from the Laundromat. His evil plans are only a modicum more sinister than those of a certain Professor Chaos from one animated cartoon series I will not name…but yes, the comedy in this plot point actually comes from the fact that he is trying to do something so sinister that it will get him into the “Evil League of Evil,” which is apparently very prestigious. And also run by the ‘thoroughbred of sin,’ Bad Horse.

His enemy is Captain Hammer (Nathan Fillion), the protagonist of the series, who is made out to be a condescending jerk-ass with a huge narcissism complex and a lot of swagger. Unfortunately, he also manages to get with Penny; much to Dr. Horrible’s woe…don’t you see where this is going? The way the roles of protagonist and antagonist are reversed and juxtaposed against one another is very subtly complex, seeming obvious to any viewer right away, but also rooted deep enough in the story to make you think about what’s going on. It’s nothing too in depth, just a really well written about-face of the traditional roles of hero and villain. And Nathan Fillion does a brilliant job as an annoying jackass. The whole thing has an undercurrent moral about corruption in society, and the way people always have ulterior motives whenever they do things. Nobody is honest, and especially not Captain Hammer, who does everything he does mostly for his own ends. Ironically, it is Dr. Horrible who seems to be the most honest character in here, because he makes no excuses and doesn’t try to pass off his villainy as anything other than what he is – a regular guy with a “PhD in evilness.”

If you hate musicals, this will be the one to set you straight, or at least the one exception to the rule. The songs here are outstanding. All of them are incredibly well written, syncopated masterfully and sung with a lot of emotion. You’d think this would come off like some kind of dumbass ironic hipster thing, being a superhero movie with a bunch of cheery songs in it, but it doesn’t, entirely because the material is so damn good. I especially like “Brand New Day,” sung by Neil Patrick Harris; a really cool industrial metal-ish tune that has some really cool, menacing vocals and a killer stomp that I really dig. But all of them are good. They’re done with a very easy-going wit and a metric ton of charm that is nearly impossible to shun.

Joss Whedon’s works are always endowed with a maddening mixture of comedy, drama and a moral message that over-arches the whole thing, and under a lot of less talented guys, this mixture would suck. Some people will tell you that this makes a film tacky and directionless, but really in the hands of the right director, there is no greater force. Whedon succeeds here because he’s a storyteller, and a masterful one at that. There is a heavy degree of theatrical pomp here, but then on the other hand, this is just so well constructed and so air-tight that you feel completely relaxed watching it. It takes a lot for a new movie to be so good that you just sit back and watch it, without trying to analyze it or look for flaws or anything. Dr. Horrible is one of those movies. There are no flaws. You just sit back and let it roll, like a fine waterfall, right into the pool of life. This is fun. It’s a movie for movie lovers at heart, and I cannot recommend it higher. A movie so good it just defies words in general.

Now give me a sequel, goddammit! Where are you, Whedon?

Serenity: Epitaph to the Firefly Series (2005)

Director: Joss Whedon

Starring: The Ole Firefly Cast

Website: http://www.universalstudiosentertainment.com/serenity-1/

"Half of writing history is hiding the truth."

-Malcolm Reynolds

I love Firefly. And when I heard there was this movie about it also available for viewing, you can bet I was excited. I didn't get my hands on it until recently, but it was worth it - but also so different from what I expected.

Yes, Mal and his crew are all back for one more roaring ride through space in an adventure that will close the series for good. I really wish they had gone further and created more movies about these characters, as they really are priceless, but it could not come to pass, and will not, with both the events in the film and the external limits like money holding it back. A tragic case...let us glorify this last voyage, though.

The plot is that apparently when the government was operating on River Tam's brain, they let in a host of high class officials to examine her, and what was in their minds was transmitted to hers, being that she is a psychic. Now, a bounty hunter is out to kill her before the information in her brain can get out. But since she's with the Serenity crew...it will prove harder than he thought.

All the trademarks of the series are here. There is no one reason why this is good; it just is. The characters are wonderfully written and acted, the action is top notch, the storylines are gripping and draw the viewer in, and the scenery is just wonderful, imaginative and creative as hell. These are very basic facets of creating a quality story that Serenity and Firefly both exhibited in spades. You really care about these characters, and if you've seen the whole series before this, which you should have, then it's like you've been traveling with them a long time. It was good to see them all again when this started up, after a month and a half of no Firefly related material. All the action is kick ass, the chases exciting and the dialogue as sharp-ended as ever. It's like mana from heaven for a seasoned Firefly fan hungering for more.

Some of the best moments include Mal's ending fight with the bounty hunter in the control room - looks like something out of Star Wars. But somehow it being a fist-fight makes it that much more gripping and vital than anything that series ever put out. Also, I just love the scenery here. Look at the scene when all of the armies are coming together in front of that planet - gorgeous, just pure beauty. And Mr. Universe was a fun guy while he was on screen.

But things take a darker turn - perhaps darker than expected. Without a warning, at around the halfway point, we see some of our favorite characters beginning to get killed off in shockingly quick, startling deaths. What happened? My reaction was one of dull-edged shock. It was hard to watch, but at the same time, I knew it was inevitable. I won't spoil who dies here, though. That's one thing I can't do.

It is a bold move from Joss Whedon, but understandable all the same. He isn't pandering here to an audience of impressionable teenagers who don't understand Firefly beyond the hot characters and the flashy battle scenes; he's making as much of an artistic statement here as can be made with the series. This is, as much as I hate to say it, the end of the series for good, with no chance of coming back. It makes sense that some of the characters die. That's what would happen - do you think they'd really all survive these intense battles and come out alive every time? This is a series all grown up and packing to leave. And we can only watch in silence, jaws on the floor.

Oh, sure. In their world, they will continue on. They will find new members of their crew, and they will have more adventures in space, burning through the fields of stars and through plains of sand on planets unknown, but with that funeral at the end of this movie, it's clear: the best days of their lives have come and gone. It will never again be the same without the entirety of their crew from the old days, and sometimes, that's the way it has to be, as sad as it is. RIP.

Firefly (2002-2005)

Creator: Joss Whedon

Starring: Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Alan Tudyk, Adam Baldwin, Morena Baccarin, Jewel Staite, Sean Maher, Summer Glau, Ron Glass.

Well, I have to admit, this series is just amazing, and why didn't I check it out before? I don't know. It must have been some kind of error in logic on my part. Whatever it was, this series is fucking awesome, and that's really the first thing you need to know about it. I'm really going to keep this short, because...well, what else is there to say? The story's engaging, the characters are masterfully written, the acting is great, the direction is gritty and stylish as hell...it's just a great show all around.

It's about, well, space pirates. Space pirates who travel in a spaceship (called Serenity) but do business and battle in suspiciously Old Western-style settings a lot of the time. The theme of the show is basically that Earth's nations liquidized down into just America and China as world powers, and those cultures inter-mingled and expanded across an entire galaxy of moons, planets and other manner of foreign, far away places. The main story revolves around a grizzled, sarcastic war veteran named Mal, and his crew, composed of first mate Zoe, her husband Wash the pilot, cute, spunky mechanic Kaylee, big, dumb and tough Jayne and the seductive "companion" Inara. They pick up a preacher named Book, and are further joined by fugitive doctor Simon Tam and his government-addled sister River, who isn't quite all there like most people are.

So there's your crew. They're all played by very, very good actors, and the character writing is just wonderful - subtle enough to not become too shallow, but they don't throw anything in your face, either. The dialogue is good, quirky and realistic and it really lets you relate to these people. Joss Whedon said that he wanted a show that offered sci-fi action in a more humane context, to where the viewers could really get involved with the characters and the fact that they, like us, are just regular people, with the same problems we have. There are romantic tensions and old friendships, and everyone has their own motivations.

But that isn't the only thing this show does well, as the other main draw is just the huge amount of kick-ass action and suspense the show gives us with every new adventure. You can pack a lot of stuff into 45 minutes, and the show makes full use of that. Every episode is packed with two or three subplots as well as a main one running through the larger whole, and it's all really interesting and cool to watch. I could go on about all of the episodes here, but really that would take too long, so I'll just sum up a few of my favorites. I think the point where I really fell in love with the show was the fourth episode "Shindig," in which Mal fights in a sword duel against a guy named Atherton Wing, who not only has the nerve to steal Inara, the woman who he likes but is too prideful to admit, but also to disrespect her. It's heroic and cool, but the rest of the ship has their own motivations - like Kaylee, who wants a dress to go to the party, even though she really doesn't fit in. Everything is given equal weight.

In "Ariel," we get heavy plot dynamics and exciting chase scenes as Jayne turns on the doctor and his sister, selling them out to the Feds. The scene where Mal almost kills him toward the end is just completely chilling, as well done as can be. This is the kind of stuff that movie producers wish they could put out. In "Out of Gas," we see the ship desolate and cold, switching between flashbacks of the crew back when they were first getting together, flashbacks of a more recent time as the ship, well, runs out of gas, and the present, in which a bloodied, out-of-breath Mal gropes in the dark, trying to find a way to stay alive. Haunting and masterful.

In "Objects in Space," which would tragically be the last episode, a new character named Jubal Early is introduced. He acts like a young Samuel L. Jackson and completely steals the show with his witty diatribes and cool, unpredictable actions. The conflicts between him and the crew are spirited and gripping, and what better way is there than this to end a show, if the bitter end is indeed coming? You go out with a party, fighting hard and giving it your all. That's what Firefly does here. Long live Firefly, and may new fans discover it by the hour. What a great show.