Trailer Review: Battleship (2012)

Greetings, readers! Welcome to a new section of the blog called trailer reviews. Where I review trailers. Wasn't that a fun explanation?

And yes, that IS Rihanna in the front there!

Ahem. Yes. Today's trailer is of a new movie coming out next summer called Battleship. Yes, Battleship, based on the hit board game from the 1950s. I'm not even joking - that's really what it's about. The film industry is SO BANKRUPT FOR IDEAS that they're now making movies out of board games...why am I not more surprised? Oh yeah, because there's a Rock'em Sock'em Robots movie coming out this fall, too.

Prime movie material, guys. Prime movie material.

So yeah, here's the trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NNQqHsIc-4

It starts off with some steamy music and a nighttime beach scene of a guy and a girl sharing some intimate moments together. He says he's going to go straight to her father and tell him that he wants to marry her. Then we see that isn't a good idea because her father is Liam Neeson, who simply can't see what his daughter sees in the guy. And as we all know, Liam Neeson is the ultimate protector of daughters, so he can consider his attempt shot down. We then see some heavy-fire battle scenes and even a big monster rising up out of the ocean...and DUN DUN DUN, SUMMER 2012, BATTLESHIP IS COMING TO THEATERS!

Seriously, what was this trailer going for? First we get the romanctic beginning and the scenes with the kid and Neeson, and it looks like it might be some kind of drama, then it's like BAM, out of nowhere, the film is now a big monster/robot movie with action scenes and CGI and everything, with no segueway or lead-in at all. It's totally jarring, and doesn't set the movie up as anything to be taken too seriously. But then again, I really doubt it was supposed to be, anyway. Still though, it really doesn't do much for the movie's credibility at any rate. Just because those early romance scenes are in the movie doesn't mean you devote half of the trailer to them! A trailer should be used to set us up for a general idea of the movie. Would you like it if a horror film trailer mostly showed you the scenes in the beginning showing everyone having fun? No, I don't think you would, because it would be pretty silly.

To sum it up, this trailer fails hard at setting the film in question up to be anything resembling entertaining! It's like the chewed-up leftovers of a Michael Bay movie trailer. Since I did this review for the trailer, I will eventually see the movie itself next year, and you'll read my thoughts on it then. Until that day...I will lie in wait.